How long should babies be awake by age?

How long should baby be awake between sleeps?

I created my wake windows guide back when I was a mothercraft maternity nanny 20 years ago, to help parents whose babies ‘are really good at hiding’ tired signs (as many of my clients put it). In the video below this awake times guide, I explain how to figure out how long your baby can be awake between naps and bedtime. To help babies take naps, and settle well at bedtime, enough sleep pressure must be created while awake. We also need to balance this by ensuring we put them down to sleep early enough to prevent them from becoming overtired.

What are awake times?

Transcript:

0:00I believe that it is easier to work with

0:03a baby that is under tired than

0:05overtired but in having said that

0:08we don’t want to be getting super

0:10stressed out and worrying too much

0:13too much okay that doesn’t mean not at

0:16all but we don’t want to be worrying too

0:20much about oh never getting our baby

0:22over tired of course it does Factor

0:25especially if you have a particularly

0:28sensitive child that goes from zero to a

0:31hundred pretty quickly

0:33so those sort of things do matter but I

0:36also think that it is important to

0:38approach baby sleep with a little bit

0:42less

0:44regiment you know which is why we use

0:47awake times they’re not actually

0:49designed at least I don’t encourage the

0:52use of them so that you get really rigid

0:55and you start creating a schedule

0:57okay because obviously as you know

1:01already I no doubt babies don’t run to a

1:04schedule and when we try to allocate a

1:07schedule for them things can fall apart

1:10you can get really stressed out and it’s

1:13just not worth it so this is why I

1:16actually say look use the awake times

1:18now it is important to remember that

1:21just like I mentioned my awake times

1:23differ a little bit from this consultant

1:26and that consultant so we don’t want to

1:28get completely married to them they’re a

1:31really good guide guide

1:34so you use them as a guide to help you

1:37get closer to your baby’s actual awake

1:41time okay because they’re going to have

1:43their own individual awake time but what

1:45you’ll actually find and what I’ve found

1:48is you know the vast majority of them do

1:51fit within this awake time guide but

1:55there is also

1:57a kind of you know 15 on either side

2:00which have higher sleep needs

2:02uh and then there’s the lower sleep

2:04needs the lower sleep needs a less

2:07common than

2:10the higher sleep needs or the average

2:12that’s what I found and I’ve been

2:14working with babies and their parents

2:16for over 20 years so I’ve observed a lot

2:19of babies not just as a sleep consultant

2:21but as a maternity Nanny okay so I

2:24worked in that role for a really long

2:26time

2:26so of course I’ve observed a lot of

2:28babies

2:29and what I’ve found is that the vast

2:33majority of them do actually fit into

2:35this awake times guide but you also have

2:37to remember that each day is going to

2:39differ a little bit so if you’ve just

2:41joined I’m talking about awake times so

2:44the awake times guides that you hear

2:47about so yeah so awake times are a

2:50really good

2:53guide for getting you to the point where

2:56you know what your baby’s maximum awake

2:59time is and then once you’re there then

3:01you can add like approximately five

3:03minutes per week on average and then it

3:06sort of starts pittering out at about

3:07nine months ten months of age so in

3:10other words it’s actually a little bit

3:12easier to see what your baby’s maximum

3:15awake time is once they’re over the age

3:17of eight or nine months

3:19however getting to that point if they’ve

3:22been refusing sleep all night long can

3:25be a little tricky but what you want to

3:27do initially is

3:30it does you know it doesn’t really

3:32matter if your baby’s self-settling or

3:34not to figure out what their awake time

3:36guide is what you’re wanting to do is

3:38actually just measure the first

3:42measurement that I would do because the

3:44Bedtime sleep the nighttime sleep is

3:46more important than all of the sleeps

3:48because once the nighttime sleep falls

3:51into place then the days time sleep

3:53tends to follow suit not necessarily

3:55immediately because daytime sleep

4:00the thing that makes it so different for

4:03the most part is that it’s a daytime

4:05Okay and evolutionarily like we’re you

4:08know eventually dropping those naps like

4:10after a few years

4:13in the west we tend to drop them a lot

4:15sooner but so anyway I digress so in

4:20terms of naps they do tend to be a

4:22little bit trickier because the the

4:24drive to sleep is not as strong it’s

4:27just not as strong okay and that’s why

4:30you might actually find for many

4:32families for the majority of families

4:34again in general the first nap of the

4:39day tends to be the shortest awake time

4:43so you can actually find that these

4:46awake time guides you don’t necessarily

4:49have the same awake time for nap one as

4:52you might do between the last snap of

4:54the day and bedtime

4:56so they’re not generally speaking the

4:59last snap of the day and bedtime is the

5:02shortest uh awake time

5:05um

5:06sorry the the longer awake time but does

5:09it does actually just completely depend

5:11where your baby’s at in terms of sleep

5:13because some babies do

5:15have a better nap in the afternoon and

5:18some babies do have a better nap in the

5:20morning so what I say to do to figure

5:23out just how close your baby is to my

5:26await times guide in other words to find

5:28out what your baby sweet spot is what

5:31your baby’s awake time is is to just do

5:34an average for the last snap of the day

5:37and then bedtime find out what that is

5:39because once you find that out then you

5:42find out the longest amount of time that

5:44your baby can actually manage before

5:47they completely lose it and have a

5:49massive amount or you don’t want to get

5:50to that point but and that’s a good

5:52point to consider as well is that the

5:55awake times guides

5:57that I give out so when we’re talking

6:00about awake times you’ll look at the

6:02last snap of the day however that nap

6:04took place so for a lot of families it

6:07is actually really really difficult that

6:09last nap of the day why is that well the

6:12reason for that is as the day draws on

6:14the stimulation levels get higher and

6:17higher and higher and that’s why the

6:20bedtime routine is so important because

6:22it helps your baby like reset you know

6:25wind down and get ready for that bedtime

6:28and bedtime generally speaking should be

6:32the easiest one to get your baby to

6:34sleep because after sunset

6:38and this is for all humans the best time

6:42to go to sleep is within one to two

6:44hours

6:45after Sunset now I know that’s not

6:47necessarily going to be the case for

6:49most families and most adults especially

6:51with the dawn of electricity but it’s an

6:53interesting thing to think about so

6:56after the sunset the drive to sleep is

6:58going to get stronger and stronger and

7:01stronger and stronger melatonin starts

7:03setting in as it starts getting dark

7:05this is why you might hear of people

7:08talking about looking at the sunset of

7:11using red lights and lowering the lights

7:13down and all and and also the blue light

7:16glasses which I actually just got a pair

7:19of recently and I have to say really

7:21does make a difference for me for my

7:23sleep hygiene because you put them on

7:26and it feels like everything’s a sunset

7:28in the house so it really really is a

7:31much easier way to wind down to sleep

7:33rather than be looking at screens in the

7:35in the artificial light and I mentioned

7:38that because it’s good to have the

7:39actual perspective as an adult because

7:42we’re so often thinking oh well this for

7:44children and this for adult and it’s not

7:46necessarily the case if you can actually

7:48relate to the dimming of the lights and

7:51and the sleepier feeling at night time

7:53then you can understand how important

7:55that is for you babe as well so getting

7:58back to our wait time so

8:00you’d be looking at it just depends on

8:03what your baby’s age is at but let’s say

8:05like the average babies that are in this

8:08group are somewhere between six months

8:10and 12 months of age so let’s just say

8:13we’re looking at a six month old so at

8:17six months we’re looking at two and a

8:19half hours of awake time on average so

8:22let’s say the baby’s up to a 30 minute

8:26so two main naps and a half hour nap

8:28right and that baby wakes up at 4 pm

8:34from their last nap of the day and

8:36they’ve you know just probably only had

8:39a half hour now but that nap possibly

8:41but it’s okay if your baby has a

8:44different way of doing that this might

8:46be one hour one hour one hour might be

8:48like there’s there’s a lot of different

8:49ways

8:50but we want to be finishing all naps by

8:534 4 30 at this age because we want to be

8:57having a goal for most babies to be in

9:00bed for the night by 6 7 30 p.m so baby

9:05wakes up at 4 pm then you can be pretty

9:09much sure that it’s going to be 6 30 p.m

9:13for bedtime

9:14so what you do is you base it on that

9:18right six uh two and a half hours so you

9:22put your baby down two and a quarter

9:24hours before the awake time because on

9:28average babies take between five and

9:31twenty minutes to get to sleep with the

9:34average being somewhere between five and

9:36ten that’s that’s the actual average if

9:39they’re not if they haven’t got an issue

9:41with sleep resistance

9:43okay

9:44so sleep resistance can come in many

9:46forms it can be resisting the current

9:49way that you settle your baby to bed or

9:52it can be just resisting in general so

9:54you know when we’re talking about sleep

9:56resistance that’s when we’re talking

9:58about oh what’s underneath some of those

10:00issues but in general like whether

10:03you’re rocking your baby to sleep

10:04feeding your baby to sleep your baby

10:06goes to sleep independently from the

10:09time that you start your settling

10:10technique

10:12to the time that your baby falls asleep

10:14is the amount of time that it takes your

10:16baby to go to sleep right so even if

10:20they’re not sleeping independently yet

10:22they’re still going to take a certain

10:24amount of time before they go from A to

10:26B to sleep and so that’s when you can

10:29actually consider okay so I put my baby

10:32down at no we’re talking about a six

10:34month old here of course so I put my

10:36baby down at two and a quarter of hours

10:39she fell asleep it took like actually

10:42she took you know 25 minutes to get to

10:44sleep from from that point to that point

10:47then she went to sleep and she stayed

10:49asleep for a good five hours that would

10:51say to me that for that particular night

10:54at the very least because we look at

10:55sleep over the over a 24-hour period for

10:58that particular night

11:00that her actual awake time is a little

11:03bit more than that two two and a half

11:05hours it’s probably close to two and

11:07three quarter hours okay because she’s

11:09not in the average baby category however

11:13there can be other things that that come

11:15into play so you want to just keep doing

11:17that

11:19sort of somewhat documentation of your

11:22babies from the time that you start to

11:25settle to the time that she goes off to

11:27sleep okay so once you start to see that

11:31and every single night for like at least

11:33three or four nights you know assuming

11:36that there’s nothing else going on

11:38and the next night you put her to sleep

11:42and she uh you know you put it down at

11:44two and a half hours and she goes to

11:46sleep within 10 minutes then you know

11:48that her maximum wait time is two and

11:51three quarter hours okay so it’s just a

11:54little bit of teasing but you don’t have

11:56to do it all the time you don’t have to

11:57spend your time on your phone or with

11:59your notepad constantly checking what

12:03time it takes from A to B but if you do

12:05want to know what their sweet spot is

12:07the reason for doing that is because if

12:10you get in there in that 15 minutes

12:12they’re less likely to push back at

12:14sleep so it’s not going to take you as

12:16long you can have it more relaxed and um

12:21contented process in terms of of your

12:25approach to sleep and your baby’s

12:27feelings towards it but also remembering

12:29that it does change like there are going

12:31to be emotions and feelings going on

12:33throughout every single day for both

12:36your family and your baby so things are

12:38going to change so it’s not like it’s

12:40going to stay exactly like that all the

12:42time but if you want to know what your

12:46individual babies you know

12:48um suitable sweet spot is then that’s

12:51the way to do it you know so we just

12:53look at what works for your babies awake

12:57time and then get them to sleep then

12:59they’ll stay asleep for a certain period

13:01of time but we also do

13:03take into account how long the nap

13:05should be so we don’t want the baby

13:07sleeping for too long during the naps

13:10because that can actually really

13:11interfere with night’s sleep and that’s

13:13why we start with night sleep

13:15because most families would like their

13:19babies to be sleeping longer at night

13:21time and they you know and and families

13:25with babies with lower sleep needs would

13:28you know happily take shorter naps

13:31during the day for you know a longer

13:33sleep overnight but it’s not always

13:35necessarily the case either what we do

13:38know is that old babies need at least

13:40nine to ten hours sleep overnight

13:43to feel rested and comfortable because

13:46you know that’s working with the

13:48Circadian rhythm and a different type of

13:49sleep happens at night time then happens

13:51at daytime okay that doesn’t mean that

13:54the daytime sleep isn’t restorative but

13:57there is a lot of different hormone

13:58development foundations changes that

14:02occur overnight so obviously the night’s

14:05sleep is to be preserved at all costs

14:07it’s the most important sleep and we all

14:08know that as adults it sets us up for

14:11the future as well so it is it’s really

14:15important to think about awake times as

14:18a guide okay if you think about them as

14:21a guide and then use it as a ball pool

14:24park then you want to actually just have

14:28a look and observe and to see how your

14:31baby is going now for the most part

14:33these awake times at least the awake

14:36times that I use they are somewhat

14:38conservative so you’re very unlikely to

14:40have an overtired baby if you follow

14:42them okay for the vast majority of the

14:45babies that I’ve worked with in the over

14:4720 years that I’ve supported new

14:49families

14:50these awake times worked really really

14:52really well

14:54so

14:55the majority of the time the main

14:58problem that I’ve ever had is that they

15:00actually need to go to sleep sooner so

15:03we look for the tired signs but for some

15:06babies they can smile very quickly from

15:10um just quite content into over tired so

15:13that’s where the the awake times can

15:16help you but that’s not to say that it’s

15:18going to be the end of the world if you

15:20don’t get your baby down perfectly

15:21within those times

15:23Okay so

15:25this is why we use a pre-sleep routine

15:27and the pre-sleep routines can make your

15:30life so much easier they could they just

15:32need to take about five minutes in fact

15:34I’ve got a really lovely little

15:35pre-sleep routine that you can follow

15:38from my website and it includes a

15:40lullaby so that means that you’ve got a

15:44possibility to literally say something

15:46to your baby in the form of song right

15:49before they go to sleep and you can use

15:51that as

15:53uh sleep phrase so a sleep phrase

15:57is something that you say to your baby

15:59when you’re resettling them and you say

16:01to them as you as you go to sleep

16:03because it is actually quite important

16:06in terms of being respectful to tell

16:09your baby what is actually happening

16:11next to tell you baby what is expected

16:13and a lot of people inadvertently aren’t

16:16really realizing that by telling their

16:18baby to shush they’re telling them to be

16:20quiet and it is actually important for

16:22some babies to be able to express how

16:24they feel right before they go to sleep

16:27so the let go of the day and that

16:29doesn’t mean that we want to say

16:31goodnight to babies who are tremendously

16:33upset of course we want to be supporting

16:35them and comforting them where they are

16:38needed but a lot of babies will Grizzle

16:40and make a bit of noise as they get into

16:42the position that they enjoy to be in to

16:45go to sleep they also might be just kind

16:47of saying yeah I don’t want you to leave

16:49because that’s their Preference they

16:52would prefer you not to leave however it

16:55is good actually to acknowledge that so

16:57yeah you don’t want me to leave it’s

16:58sleepy time sleepy time my love sleepy

17:03time time for sleep my love

17:08sleepy time so that’s like a little bit

17:12of the song that I actually sing through

17:15the link that you can get in that

17:17bedtime routine post that I just did

17:21so

17:22using that lullaby it means that you can

17:25extract that sleep phrase sleepy time my

17:28love and you can use that for your

17:30resettles babies really enjoy the

17:32repetition it really helps them

17:34understand what is happening what’s

17:37supposed to happen and the flip side to

17:39that is as well is that your repetition

17:42in these processes helps you feel more

17:45confident and once you feel more

17:47confident your baby says oh okay she’s

17:50really certain and the anxiety lowers

17:53anxiety also lowers energetically for

17:56both you and your baby when your baby

17:58understands what’s happening next so

18:00they get to be an active participant in

18:02that process okay and that’s obviously

18:04really important as well

18:06so what often happens is when sleep

18:09doesn’t work perfectly for parents

18:11immediately they sometimes switch to

18:14something else that might work and

18:16something else that might work and

18:17something else so I start off rocking oh

18:19that’s not working the padding oh that’s

18:21not working feed to sleep maybe that’s

18:23going to work and then maybe that

18:24doesn’t work they’ll wake up an hour

18:26later so we would be best to not

18:29continue switching because that doesn’t

18:31work that doesn’t work that doesn’t work

18:33that doesn’t work always continue

18:36Styles you wish to continue

18:38and that’s my motto and it can be really

18:41really helpful okay because there can be

18:43other underlying reasons why your baby

18:45is taking forever to go to sleep and yes

18:48babies do get to a point I’ve observed

18:50that it is actually much more helpful

18:53for them to understand how to relax and

18:56let sleep come independently so often

18:59that’s what will happen between 6 and 12

19:02months of age they’ll start really

19:04resisting bedtime because they’ll start

19:08to get sometimes in a confused state

19:10where they feel like oh

19:13um you’re meant to be able to get me to

19:14sleep but those things aren’t really

19:16working anymore so to me through my

19:18observation that has been oh okay this

19:21baby really is ready to unlock that

19:24innate wisdom and be able to go to sleep

19:27without some other external factor that

19:32they rely on such as being rocked or fed

19:35to sleep or

19:36or held to sleep so that’s that part to

19:39it but getting back to the awake times

19:42so the awake times guide

19:45can be used to get you to your ballpoint

19:48so we don’t need to be getting super

19:50stressed out about it but it can really

19:52really help you to get to that point now

19:54if it isn’t working there could be other

19:56underlying factors but first of all use

19:59your awake times guide as a ballpark

20:02okay and then as I was saying before

20:06what you want to do to figure out what

20:09your baby’s sweet spot is is just make a

20:13note of from the time that you start

20:16settling them to the time that they get

20:18to sleep how long it takes

20:20and make a note of when that happens so

20:23what you want to do is calculate the

20:25amount of time

20:27from when they woke from their last nap

20:29of the day to bedtime

20:32see what that looks like over a week

20:34you’ll you’ll see an average you’ll see

20:37an average awake time because of course

20:40they’re not always going to wake the

20:43exact same time for every single nap

20:45every single day so bedtime could look

20:48slightly different each evening of

20:49course that depends on the age because

20:52when babies get over the age of 12

20:55months they tend to have much more

20:58have a regular bedtime it starts showing

21:01it starts appearing a little bit more

21:03because their daytime sleep isn’t as

21:05fragmented

21:06so

21:08that’s how you would do it you would

21:10look at the bet the the average awake

21:12time because that’s usually the longest

21:13awake time that babies can sand is that

21:17last one of the day and then

21:20if you would like to as well then pay

21:24attention to how long it takes for them

21:25to settle themselves to sleep during the

21:29day for their naps but the last one of

21:31the day is the most important and once

21:33you’ve figured what that one is it’s

21:34really quite easy to figure all the

21:37other ones out in combination with using

21:41their tight signs as well but

21:44the reason why I wanted to talk about

21:46awake times is because some people can

21:49get quite fixated on them and then get

21:52really frustrated because the babies are

21:54having difficult naps or they’re not

21:57sleeping through the night or they’re

21:58just taking a really really long time to

22:00settle obviously there’s a lot of moving

22:03parts to sleep but the the starting

22:06ground is to have a pre-sleep routine to

22:09lower anxiety pay attention to how long

22:12it is taking them from this time you

22:14start you settling to the time that they

22:16go to sleep make a note of that okay so

22:20they’re the two main things that are

22:22going to set you up for some good sleep

22:25the other thing is of course that you

22:27want to have a look at sleep needs per

22:29age okay because if they’re having too

22:31much nap time during the day then it can

22:34impede on overnight sleep if they’re

22:37having too much sleep overnight then it

22:40can impede on their naps if their awake

22:42time is too short in between those naps

22:46then they are going to catnap no matter

22:48what you do so there is a little bit of

22:52balancing out that has to take place to

22:55figure out what your baby’s sleep at

22:57sweet spot is

22:59so if your baby is catnapping a lot then

23:02a longer awake time can sometimes help

23:05sometimes people must say tired signs

23:08for just you know a baby’s just wanting

23:11to do something different or having a

23:12change of of scene so you know I have

23:15come across some families where the

23:17awake time is two and a half hours the

23:19baby starts showing some kind of remote

23:22tired signs at an hour and a half and

23:24they’re putting their baby down then and

23:26wondering why they’re catnapping you see

23:27so it can be a little bit confusing

23:30which is why you just want to look at

23:32the awake time guide and even if your

23:35baby is lower sleep needs than what that

23:37awake time guide is it’s not going to be

23:40that far out you know it’s probably

23:42going to be 15 minutes 30 minutes

23:44something like that so you know

23:47obviously if they’re over tired and

23:50their higher sleep needs then it’s going

23:52to be a shorter awake time and if their

23:55lower sleep needs it’s going to be a

23:56longer awake time but overall well it’s

24:00not going to be a huge amount on either

24:02side you know so that’s why a wait time

24:05guides can work really well for giving

24:07you a ballpark on where your baby is at

24:10okay they’re not meant to be used to

24:13turn into a schedule and I’m not the

24:16type of consultant that would ever

24:19recommend a schedule for any babies

24:21because then you can just get really

24:23fixated on fitting into that schedule

24:25and then when they don’t then you can

24:28feel really really frustrated so

24:31you know as a guide

24:33use the awake times and also to give you

24:37an idea most babies work really really

24:39well with having their bedtime somewhere

24:43between 6 p.m and 7 45 PM because that

24:48is generally speaking within an hour or

24:51two of when the sun sets so that’s when

24:54we’re working with circadian rhythms

24:56really well

24:57uh obviously and summer things work a

25:00little bit differently and that’s why

25:01we’re using the blackout blinds and so

25:03on

25:04uh yeah but first of all the main thing

25:08that I will always say to people and

25:10continue to say to people is work on

25:12night sleep first once the night sleep

25:15falls into place that I’m talking like

25:17settling I’m talking about getting that

25:19sweet spot where they do and they are

25:21able to settle within 5 to 20 minutes I

25:25know that’s a big gap with the average

25:27being five to ten minutes

25:29that’s the average but babies can take

25:31up to 20 minutes go to sleep and that’s

25:33not necessarily them crying and you

25:36having to check in on them for a whole

25:3820 minutes

25:39some babies just take a little bit of

25:41time but the average amount of time if a

25:44baby is tired but they’re not over tired

25:47is around 10 minutes and so that’s you

25:50that’s your ideal time and when you

25:51think about how long it takes you to

25:53settle in to go to sleep then that seems

25:55like a reasonable amount of time

25:58to figure things out so I hope that’s

26:01helped you today

26:02awake time guides

26:05just have a little bit more of a focus

26:07on the guide

26:09component if the concept stresses you

26:11out and a reminder that awake time

26:14guides were never intended to be applied

26:18as a schedule

26:20they’re meant to make your life a lot

26:22easier not a lot harder so that’s

26:25something to really really consider and

26:27a wait time guides the idea of them is

26:30to actually be used in conjunction with

26:32the pre-sleep routine because I can’t

26:35stress enough how much of a change a

26:38pre-sleep routine can have for you your

26:42baby during bedtime as well as nap time

26:45they only take around five minutes and

26:47once you’ve actually got a pre-sleep

26:49routine happening your baby understands

26:52what’s happening next through the visual

26:54cues so through a visual cue of putting

26:57the sleeping sack on and reading a book

27:00a very short book doesn’t have to take

27:02very long I’ve got a pin post on on this

27:05and also a link that I’ve put in here on

27:08how to Institute a pre-slated routine it

27:12takes about five minutes so a book

27:14doesn’t have to take very long but

27:16always have that same baby book for your

27:18pre-sleep routine okay and then you’ve

27:21got a comforter if your baby’s too young

27:23to have the comforter to sleep with then

27:24just have it as part of that pre-slip

27:26routine until such time that your baby

27:28can actually sleep in with that

27:31comforter the advised safety

27:35recommendations in Australia is seven

27:38months and Below but they do vary all

27:40over the world so it’s up to you how you

27:43want to use the comforter but it is good

27:46to have it as part of that baby sleep

27:48routine visual cue remember it’s a

27:50visual cue and then of course your

27:52lullaby and that’s why I have sung a

27:57special lullaby that I sang during my

28:01career as a maternity nanny I came up

28:03with Victory my career is a maternity

28:06Nanny came from nowhere but I was just

28:08like you mama trying to find my call and

28:12keep things calm and tell the baby what

28:14I needed to happen and just be authentic

28:17in that process and then in that process

28:19I found a sleep phrase and from there on

28:22in hundreds of babies

28:24have been sung that lullaby and their

28:27parents have used that sleep phrase very

28:30successfully as part of their baby sleep

28:32routine so give it a try there’s a link

28:35there to uh a baby sleep routine

28:39and I’m going to leave it there today I

28:41hope that has helped you a lot that’s

28:43awake times

28:44and I will see you again next week have

28:48a wonderful weekend

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