ABOUT RAQUEL TARA

In 1996, for all intents and purposes still a kid myself, before sleep training or night nannies were a mainstream service, I became a maternity nanny in London. The role meant that for a temporary period (anything from 2 weeks to 6 months), I became the secondary caregiver to infants I worked with. I supported the parents in everything from nappy changes and feeding, to the most important and sought after post natal requirement  —  sleep. There was only one problem. I didn’t know how to teach parents how to settle their infant, much less do it by myself. The agency I was with gave us some mothercraft training. But there wasn’t any one solid approach or plan they all agreed on. The general consensus was  —  just do whatever works. There weren’t any formal courses on ‘sleep training’ babies at that time. So I had to rely on books by doctors, advice from midwives, other experienced maternity nannies; and over time my own observation and intuition were to play crucial roles. 

I have always had a nurturing, highly sensitive yet determined disposition. I remember the feelings I went through trying to figure out baby sleep like it was yesterday. Those feelings were gruelling. I recall colleagues telling me to just tough it out, ‘you’re not expected to solve their sleep issues – just get the shift over with’. These dismissals only strengthened my resolve. Because the thing is, for reasons I cannot explain, I did feel an expectation to solve their sleep issues – like I was summoned from within. For a time I tried all the tricks my clients come to me with today and more  —  and none of them felt sustainable  — and some of them were just down right ridiculous. They worked for a moment, and that was all I felt like I needed to survive some nights  —  like a bandaid on a cut that won’t stop bleeding. Sometimes the sleep deprivation would hit me so hard; I would have to drop shift after shift until I felt ‘normal’ again. But over time I remained vigilant. Something inside was guiding me to know how to help these babies sleep. So I made it my mission to figure them out.