In 1999, for all intents and purposes still a kid myself, I became a Mothercraft maternity & night nanny in London. This was at least a decade before being a baby sleep consultant had become a mainstream service. I supported the parents in learning everything about caring for their baby. I looked after the well being of the parents as well, ensuring they got the most sought after post natal requirement  —  sleep. There was only one problem. I didn’t have any experience to teach parents how to settle their infant to sleep. The midwives weren’t baby sleep consultants either. They would offer advice. But there wasn’t any one solid approach or baby sleep plan they all agreed on.

The general consensus was  —  just do whatever you can to get the baby to sleep. If you wanted baby sleep advice, you couldn’t sign up to a baby sleep certification. There weren’t any formal courses in baby sleep. I studied infant sleep advice in books by pediatricians. I took on advice from midwives. And I listened to input from other experienced Mothercraft maternity nannies. All of these people could boast years of experience with infants and their sleep habits. Over time my own observation, intuition and years of experience were to play crucial roles in my abilities to help parents support their babies into a predictable & holistic sleep rhythm.

I didn’t know it then, but my journey into becoming a Baby Sleep Consultant had begun when I became a night nurse Mothercraft nanny.

I have always had a sensitive yet determined disposition. I remember the feelings I went through trying to figure out baby sleep like it was yesterday. They were grueling. I recall colleagues telling me to just tough it out. They would say, ‘you’re not expected to solve their baby sleep issues – just get the shift over with’. These dismissals only strengthened my resolve. Because, for reasons I cannot explain, I did feel an expectation to solve their baby sleep problems. It was like I was summoned from within.

For a time in the beginning, I tried all the tricks my clients come to me with today.  They worked for a moment. And that ‘moment’ of relief was all I felt like I needed to survive some nights. Sometimes the sleep deprivation would hit so hard I would have to drop shift after shift until I felt ‘normal’ again. But over time I remained vigilant. Something inside was guiding me to know how to help these babies sleep. So I made it my mission to figure them out.

MY WORK AND APPROACH TODAY AS A BABY SLEEP CONSULTANT

Now over 20 years later I find myself one of the most experienced voices in the Baby Sleep Consulting ‘Industry’. I’ve worked with doctors, teachers, celebrities and coaches both-in Australia and abroad. In Canberra, Sydney, Byron Bay & The Gold Coast I can visit any suburb within 50 klms of these locations. Or do what the majority of my clients have done, and can sign up for my 1:1 baby sleep support program and we’ll figure everything out via email, Video Consultation & Extensive Unlimited In App support. It’s a versatile, high value program where you finish with every question answered, with your own record to refer back to.

My approach isn’t to Cry It Out, and it doesn’t advocate for eliminating crying either. I don’t believe that distracting a baby from authentic expression is respectful. The goal of any baby sleep consultant should be to be respectfully responsive. But unfortunately I don’t think a lot of people understand what that means or involves. In every corner of the ‘sleep training’ market there is an acute focus on making the crying stop, or avoiding it altogether, without any space for understanding the message the child is communicating. We can be responsive without suppressing emotions.I didn’t know it then, but my journey to becoming a Baby Sleep Consultant had begun when I became a night nurse. 

Some clients have described my approach as gentle baby sleep coaching. However, I don’t feel they can be pigeon-holed there either. Experience has taught me that some of those ‘gentle’ methods are in inadvertently disrespectful to the baby’s sense of security. I’ve analysed many infant sleep approaches intimately. And while there are some common threads with what other gentle sleep consultants offer — my approach has many unique elements. And it has evolved with my decades of experience. And when I’m working 1:1 with clients, we evolve the approach as the experience unfolds. Just as no two babies are the same, no two individual parents are either. We need to look at every element of the baby’s experience. That’s holistic sleep coaching. The approach to settling a child to sleep is just one aspect of the entire profile of each family’s baby sleep coaching experience.

RESOURCES FOR INFANT EDUCARERS (RIE)

If you haven’t picked up on it yet – I am a Magda Gerber advocate. I discovered Magda’s foundation Resources for Infant Educarers ten years into my infant caregiving career while studying psychology and attachment theory. Another game changer. While the initial years of education and on the job training as a maternity nanny had supported me immensely to become an infant sleep specialist  — there were still bits and pieces such as extinction (Cry It Out) and restriction of movement approaches that didn’t sit well with me for many more reasons than the crying involved. 

Sir Richard Bowlby lectured on Attachment Theory, which was founded by his father, psychoanalyst John Bowlby, and presents a view of infant care supported by the RIE principles. 

Magda Gerber’s work under Emma Pikler, and the gross motor skills studies the Lóczy Institute did with orphaned infants over many years in Hungary, is the only long term study on infant gross motor skills development. And Magda has contributed to scholarly articles on early attachment theroy.

Studying this work helped me make sense of the observations and experiences, and my approach to infant care – especially baby sleep. Over the years, when I worked with clients for extended periods I had instinctively layered our routines with co-regulation exercises and communication methods. And I experienced extremely meaningful results.

RIE & EMMI PIKLER’S CONTRIBUTION TO ATTACHMENT THEROY

I continued by studies into infant psychology and development for over a decade, and in 2020, I finally formalised my RIE experience and knowledge under Anita Cooper Ebright& Kristy Thomas studying the RIE foundations course in Canada. And in 2022 I became a Gottman Institute ‘Bringing Baby Home Educator’. 

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HIRE ME TO BE YOUR BABY SLEEP CONSULTANT 

It’s become apparent to me that the majority of baby sleep consultants overlook the most important aspect of solving baby sleep issues; the tapestry of the ‘parent’s’ psychology. Supporting a child’s sleep habits are usually the first boundary most parents have to put in place for their children.

Inherited belief systems from our own childhood play such an integral role in every aspect of caregiving. So it’s important that we explore how they are affecting our feelings and reactions. When you work 1:1 with me and you’ll get your baby sleeping, but you are likely to evolve your experience as a new parent, and enjoy it more. 

 

Baby Sleep Consultant Raquel Tara

I am privileged as a baby sleep consultant to be able to help the parent I work with on so many more levels than just baby sleep coaching. Together we witness the unveiling of their baby’s capabilities as a result of the parents ‘becoming’ the child’s confident leader. Sleep and confidence are intrinsically linked. They foster the most important ingredient in the bond between a parent and child  —  trust.

In two decades I have had in observing infants, I’ve seen a lot of baby-care trends come and go. The one approach that remains constant for me, is the philosophy that evolved me by professionally and personally: Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE). Every time I read Your Self Confident Baby and Dear Parent again I learn something new. I think I have read each of them at least 100 times. And now I go back to this amazing work by Magda Gerber each and every week helping my clients deepen their understanding too. 

In my 1:1 Baby Sleep Support Programs and RIE Classes I will teach you co-regulating exercises, observational techniques and how to develop your ability to truly understand and believe in your baby’s communication and capabilities.

In my newborn programs you’ll be prepared for caregiving and nurturing your relationship with both your baby & your partner from the get go. Some of my approaches might seem revolutionary. Yet when you realise where their foundations began – you might realise how much sense they make, to you as a parent, innately.